finally awake

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Posts by finally awake

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  34

  Special Assembly Day??

  by DATA-DOG in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  has anyone attended yet?

  i am going to take careful notes.

  i think i can make it through.

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  finally awake

  it appears that the local dubs are having their 2 day assembly this weekend. We were at the grocery store last night about 7:30pm and saw the big cheese local elder and his wife. They were in meeting clothes and were only buying a box of ice cream. I am very glad that I didn't waste a beautiful Saturday sitting in a deadly dull meeting LOL
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  18

  Are born-ins or are converts most likely to leave?

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  maybe born-ins are, because we converts made the choice whereas the born-ins did not.

  or are the converts more likely to because of thought patterns developed outside the cult?

  i'd like to know what you think..

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  finally awake

  I was an adult convert. I think that leaving the borg is easier for people who don't have family in and who don't have close friendships with anyone in. When I felt like our family's entire social life depended on being in the borg, I couldn't imagine leaving. I really felt like I'd never make friends and my kids would really suffer outside the borg. I felt that I would be ripping them away from all their friends. Over time though, the people at the hall pulled away from us. I think it was mainly because our family never did conform to the borg prescribed gender roles and I stopped going in service. The older kids never became publishers either. SO ultimately, we all felt pretty isolated at the hall and leaving wasn't really all that hard on any of us. The biggest issue for born-ins (I think) is the likelihood that a large part of their family is in, and that's hard to deal with. Just Ron and I both wanted out long before either of us was brave enough to admit it to each other. We were both afraid it would ruin our relationship.
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  14

  Flash Backs

  by hopelesslystained in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  how do you deal with them?

  from experiencing falsely based family accusations.

  commitee meetings (old term).

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  finally awake

  exwhyzee has a good point. the more you dwell on something, the more ingrained into your mind it becomes. once you refuse to think about something, it begins to fade from your memory. eventually, you really can't remember even when you try.
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  38

  Newbie

  by Stubborn Disbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm new here, so i thought i'd start with an introduction and summary of my life, for the most part.

  i have a tendancy to ramble ridiculously, so bear with me :) and this will be all over the place as thoughts take over the keyboard.. i was born a 5th generation jw.

  i never really "felt" it, but was book smart about it.

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  finally awake

  Welcome! I'm sorry your parents are so crappy. Your father deserves jail time for that assault.
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  5

  Just found out Emma & Crmsicl went to same HS

  by crmsicl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i noticed that emma on jwn was from michigan.

  i am from mi now living in wa.

  so, a long shot, i know it's a big state but something about her made me think we were from the same area.

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  finally awake

  small world!
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  45

  Sex before marriage would eliminate a lot of unhappy marriages in the Borg...

  by sinis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sensible, safe sex, in my opinion, should be engaged in.

  because, as you get older and are ready to settle down, you will look at your potential sole mate, not for sexual reasons, but for what they have to offer mentally and if they are compatible.

  when religion restricts this, and yuo must marry to have sex, i believe that you doom a marriage at the outset, because these young folks marry out of lust, only to have the rose colored blinders pulled off later, and regret the entire arrangement... .

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  finally awake

  JWS, just from a purely personal perspective, my interest in sex fluctuates wildly. When I was a teen, I was just as interested in sex as the average oversexed teenage boy. When I got married (age 20) I was shocked at how my interest level dropped off. I was too busy worrying about money and grades and finding a career track job, and sex took a distant back seat for a while. I also think being on the pill greatly reduced my interest in sex, but fear of pregnancy when I wasn't on the pill was also a big downer. I have had the same partner for 22 years now, and I can state unequivocally that my interest in sex at any given moment has nothing at all to do with his abilities or attractiveness. There have been periods of time when I absolutely wore him out, and there have been periods of time when I'd rather have my teeth cleaned than have sex. It's all down to hormone levels and whether my head is in the game or I'm too wrapped up in something else. Men take women's lack of interest in sex way too personally, while women see men's constant interest in sex as proof that men only value women as sexual playthings. Neither position is correct.
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  15

  OMG ....we overslept lol

  by judi8751 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did anyone else do this on sunday mornings: when i was slowly waking up i realised that i didnt want to be at the meetings anymore, my hubby would be sleeping and i realised it was time to get up & get ready, so even though i was bursting for the loo i would hold it so as not to wake him up .

  sometimes i was in pain holding it in , but waited till it was too late to get there on time lol.

  then he would suggest going to the afternoon meeting intead and i would say i didnt like that congregation...you go hahahahaha, funny thing is he never liked going to the meetings by himself!!!

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  finally awake

  i used to do that all the time. I'd have to pee so bad, but i really really really didn't want to go to the meeting
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  45

  Sex before marriage would eliminate a lot of unhappy marriages in the Borg...

  by sinis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sensible, safe sex, in my opinion, should be engaged in.

  because, as you get older and are ready to settle down, you will look at your potential sole mate, not for sexual reasons, but for what they have to offer mentally and if they are compatible.

  when religion restricts this, and yuo must marry to have sex, i believe that you doom a marriage at the outset, because these young folks marry out of lust, only to have the rose colored blinders pulled off later, and regret the entire arrangement... .

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  finally awake

  Too many people focus on sexual performance as the reason for being unhappy with a particular partner. Sexual compatibility is not just technique and performance. The real issue is whether a particular partner will learn to do what pleases the other. If one partner is selfish and uninterested in the other's enjoyment, or too inhibited to try new things, it's not going to work. Simply being unskilled is a fixable problem, and issues like premature ejaculation and impotence can be dealt with as well. The only unfixable problems are an unwillingness to learn and experiment, and an inability to accept that real sex isn't like the sex in romance novels or porn flicks.
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  45

  Sex before marriage would eliminate a lot of unhappy marriages in the Borg...

  by sinis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sensible, safe sex, in my opinion, should be engaged in.

  because, as you get older and are ready to settle down, you will look at your potential sole mate, not for sexual reasons, but for what they have to offer mentally and if they are compatible.

  when religion restricts this, and yuo must marry to have sex, i believe that you doom a marriage at the outset, because these young folks marry out of lust, only to have the rose colored blinders pulled off later, and regret the entire arrangement... .

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  finally awake

  sexual compatibility at the beginning of a relationship is no guarantee of compatibility after 20 years. there were a lot things i had never heard of when i was 20 that are common practice now. plus, libido changes over the years. still, i agree that people should engage in responsible sex before marriage
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  16

  Active/Fading JWs...How Many Have Been DFd in Your Hall in the Last Year?

  by LostGeneration in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my jw wife came home really upset a couple weeks back.

  someone was "announced" at the hall that she really loves, a young woman.

  it was the fourth person dfd from her hall since the beginning of 2012. two young people, one single mother, (those three probably for "sex crimes" but i don't know 100%) and one ms, which is the most interesting from my perspective because i knew the guy to always be a rebel, and i suspect it was for apostasy or he dad.

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  finally awake

  The hall I attended was rural, basically middle class people with a few on the lower end of the economic spectrum. There were a lot of family groups - the PO and the secretary were brothers, their wives and children all attended the same hall. Another family group included a mom, daughter, son in law, 3 grandchildren, the spouse of one grandchild, and that spouse's mother, brother, and sister in law. There were only about 40 people total who attended meetings regularly. There were just a few teens/young adults.